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Welcome to the World-Famous Hard Luck Cafe, in Beautiful Downtown Smalltown, home of the Belly-Bustin' Burp 'n' BelchBurgers 'n' Beer!!! If you can say that 10 times as fast as you can without screwin' it up, you get it for HALF-PRICE! And if you can say that 10 times as fast as you can while simultaneously snarfin' down an entire order of Belly-Bustin' Burp 'n' BelchBurgers 'n' Beer, the meal is FREE*

The Hard Luck has long been regarded as the finest restaurant and waterin' hole from New Snittysville to Upchuckton! And that's sayin' somethin'!

There's always somethin' goin' on at the Hard Luck, with entertainment every so often, and of course, every Wednesday night is Supermodels' Night, and if any of 'em ever show up, we'll have us a helluva time!

And NOW, you can even order ONLINE with our new-fangled internet order system which we have yet to try out. So you just mouse around here all you want, and if you get hungry, just click on "ORDER", and we'll get it right out to you presently.

* - You'll need to not leave a mess, of course!